1 Peter 3:1-12, Our witness requires mutual submission and healthy relationships

• Timeline (key events):



~33 A.D.	Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection
~48	First book: I Thessalonians
64	Fire destroys most of Rome;  Nero blames Jews (means Christians too)
~65	1 Peter
~68	Death of Peter (historically crucified head down)
70	Jerusalem and Temple destroyed
~90-100	Last books: John, 1 2 & 3 John, and Revelation



• Review themes:
1. Stand firm, you are going to suffer
1. We are strangers here, this world is not our reward.  We should live as strangers and not get too attached
2. We need to live for things that are eternal -- God, His Word, and people
3. We live here, not because it is a reward but because we are supposed to be witnesses
1. Will other people use our witness as an excuse for why the never believed?
4. Last week:  We live among spiritually ignorant and foolish people.  We represent a threat to a person's worldview.  As long as they can discredit our lives, they don't have to contemplate our message.  You can't argue with them.  They require experiential knowledge to refute their preconceived notions.  We need to live in such a way that we force people to acknowledge and struggle with our worldview


1 Peter 3:1–6 (ESV) — 1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.


• Remember: the overall theme has been "endurance in suffering"
• Practical applications have been in the area of what we live for -- our reward and our eternal perspective
• Also, Peter has already emphasized the importance of our submission in our witness
• Now this passage continue the previous discussion on submission -- what two areas has Peter already covered in regards to submission?
• Governing institutions and Employers
• He has three more groups with practical applications toward submission -- wives, husbands, and one another
•  Background:
• How are women treated during this time?
• There is no more impressive contrast between the nations which have been under the influence of Christianity and those which have not been, history declares, than the difference in the position of woman. Her condition was a debased one in the ancient monarchies of the Orient. The female served the male; polygamy prevailed; divorce was obtained easily. Among Greeks and Romans the woman held a higher position than elsewhere, yet from the earliest period even there the wife was regarded as a piece of property, an individual destitute of legal rights, absolutely under the control of her father until marriage. ... Under Christianity, however, woman has been enabled to occupy the high position assigned her at creation, namely, social equality with man. Witness the active part which women took in the history of the early church, when the apostles led to the greatest triumph which Christianity has ever known. And witness how the Galilean apostle grants them recognition in his writings. Just as the lowly slave has been esteemed a fellow human being, so the woman is accounted equal to man, though differing in her responsibilities. Thereby the Christian faith took a deliberate stand against all entrenched custom and prejudice.  Dallas Theological Seminary. (1943; 2002). Bibliotheca Sacra Volume 100 (100:263). Dallas Theological Seminary.
• Greek and Roman culture expected a wife to follow her husband's religion.  If a woman trusted Jesus as her savior and her husband did not, she would immediately encounter difficulty
• First, society and her husband would suspect her of disloyalty to her husband.  How could she refute that suspicion?
• Second, she might become confused as to her proper attitude toward her husband.  Since she is free in Christ, should she defy her husband?  Should she witness to her husband since his conversion would make her life easier?  Should she buckle under his demands that she return to the Greek and Roman gods?
• So, what are some of the reasons Peter gives for the wife's submission to the husband?
• This is a good example of the previous section.  The wife's actions force the husband to consider her faith (her worldview)
• It is interesting to note that they word "obey" is used of the husband to the word, while the woman's verb it to "put herself under"
• They are two different words, one you have no choice, but the other is a choice
• [WARNING NOTE]  In case you haven't noticed, men and women are different.  In general, because it is not true in all cases, how are men and women different in their view of life?
• Mark 14:3–11 (ESV) — 3 And while he was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head. 4 There were some who said to themselves indignantly, “Why was the ointment wasted like that? 5 For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.” And they scolded her. 6 But Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 7 For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me. 8 She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial. 9 And truly, I say to you, wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her.” 10 Then Judas Iscariot, who was one of the twelve, went to the chief priests in order to betray him to them. 11 And when they heard it, they were glad and promised to give him money. And he sought an opportunity to betray him.
• What was the disciple's concern, the men's concern?
• It was a waste of money (John 12:1-8)
• What did Jesus call it?
• A beautiful thing
• 90% of the use of the word beautiful in the bible refers to women
• What does it mean to be created in the image of God?
• Gen 1:27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
• We are "male and female" created in the image of God
• Here is my point.  God gave woman a special understanding of the importance of beauty that most men don't have.  God understands beauty, just look at creation.  Men can appreciate beauty, but they don't understand its importance.  Jesus, because he is God, understood its importance
• It is a godly thing to want to look beautiful
• But because of sin, we can mar the true aspects of beauty with an overemphasis on the external
• So, what is Peter saying about the God-given desire to look beautiful?
• I've read this many times, and I do not believe he is saying that outward adornment is bad
• Commentaries also seem to agree on this point
• Peter is challenging his readers to develop inner beauty
• Gentle and quiet spirit
• Incidentally, Sarah is not perfect.  It was her constant complaining to Abraham that resulted, first in the birth of Ishmael, and then second, in kicking him and Hagar out of the house -- So, we are not talking about perfection here
• The key here is that a woman has to put her hope in God.  I'm sure it is very fearful to trust in a sinful man to actually care for your needs
• But that is also true of employer-employee relationships as well (of course the difference there is that you can leave)
• In many ways, the submission is to God and not to the husband.  In obedience to God, the woman chooses to put herself under the husband's authority (this is biblical submission)
• Submission rules out ungodly requests
• Ultimately, we are looking for a reward that is in heaven and not on earth


1 Peter 3:7 (ESV) — 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.


• [AMPLIFIED BIBLE] 7 In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an qintelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]
• What phrase starts out both the section on the wife and the husband?
• "in the same way"
• What does that mean?
• In context, this is how a husband submits to his wife
• The verse says to live considerately or literally, live with knowledge -- what does that mean?
• Most husbands do not take the time to understand their wife's desire
• We need to take the time to understand
• We need to take the time to listen
• We should not expect them to be the same as us
• How does this verse say our wife is different?
• They are physically weaker
• Yet we are to honor -- how do we honor someone who is physically weaker?
• We may need to do things for them.  This is where carrying books, holding doors grows out of.  It's not that a woman can't open her own door, but it honors her in a way that understands she is physically weaker
• What does this verse say regarding the wife's equality with the husband?
• "heirs with you" or more properly "joint-heirs" affirms the wife's equality
• What is the husband's motivation or reasons?
• It can hinder our prayers
• "The spiritual lives of both the husband and wife are either built up or damaged according to how a husband treats his wife"


1 Peter 3:8–12 (ESV) — 8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10 For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; 11 let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”


• Finally, implies the end of this long section on submission, so how are we to submit to one another?
• Live in harmony (unity of mind)
• Deal with issues and come to agreement
• Be sympathetic
• When someone is hurting, we should hurt.  When someone is joyful, we should be joyful
• THINK about others
• Love as brothers
• Deeply care for each other
• Willingness to sacrifice
• Tender heart
• Care for people
• Have pity (in a good sense) meaning to feel their hurt
•  Humber Mind
• Consider others more important than self
• Do not repay …
• We are to bless and forgive
• OUR BLESSING is dependent on how we respond to perceived hurts
• At this point, Peter quotes Psalm 34.  In context, this would seem to explain the blessing
• Blessing: 
• Love life and see good days
• Attention to our prayers
• Condition:
• Keep tongue from evil
• Turn from evil
APPLICATION: our greatest enemy to mutual submission is what we say. Simple words can hurt. Assume everyone can hear what you are saying before you say it. How would that change what you would say?